10 August 2013
I am a victim of Domestic abuse ....Chika ike says..
opening up about the physical abuse she suffered in
the hands of his exstrÂnge husband...
years. Find her story below...
The past three years has been a very emotional
period for me. I focused my energy on work and to
build back my self esteem. its been really hard for
me to come out straight and talk about this
because sometimes I pinch myself to wake up and
not believe that I was a victim of domestic
violence. I've been through a lot in my life, faced a
lot of challenges but this is one topic I've tried so
hard to avoid and have been waiting for the right
time but I have come to a resolve that there's
really no right time because every second of the
day,lives are being lost due to domestic violence.
I was a victiim of domestic violence in my
marriage and that was the singular reason I left
my marriage, aside other reasons.
Growing up as a girl. I was always known as the
sweetest kid on the block, before I got married, I have
been through some relationships and for once no
man had ever laid a finger on me. The first time it
happened in my marriage I didn't understand it
because I am not the type of woman a man beats but
I guess there are no types. It just happens and no
woman deserves it. As a young girl I thought it was
love or his way of expressing his emotions,after every
beating he pleads , cries and says it won't happen
again, once again I thought it was love and made
excuses for him. Over the years when it kept
happening consistently I started looking for other
definitions for it. I started loosing my self pride,self
esteem , self worth, and most painfully i lost a
pregnancy (Miscarriage) I almost lost my life in the
process then I realised how serious and abnormal it
I have heard and read a lot of accusations from
ignorant people who don't know my story,I guess
that's why they are ignorant. I was 20yrs old and
very naïve to the world when I got married ." They
said I married for money" LOL. I was married to a
corporate guy,who had a 9_5 job in a bank, Lives in a
rented 2 bedroom apartment at Egbe.. So do the
maths! . I married for love. I did a traditional
wedding. A white wedding and a court wedding. So
that's how much I wanted to be married forever. For
five years I hoped, prayed & wished that one day it
will all change. But the last straw that broke the
carmels back was during a heated argument he
threw a glass jug to my face and I dogged it and it
shattered on d wall. I saw death flash before me and I
made a decision to save my life. I left my marriage.
Am not saying this to draw pity from anyone
because we are entitled to our opinions and believes.
I am not also saying this to discourage people from
falling in love because its a beautiful feeling and I
still believe in it. I am saying this to educate, share
and talk about my experience as a victim of domestic
violence because it is real.