Women Open Up About Their First Time

Virginity is a tricky concept. As a culture we’ve explored it in our films, TV shows,books and classrooms, but we still don’t have a clear-cut definition of what it entails or why it’s important. To get more answers to those questions, we asked our female readers to send us theirvirginity stories — the good, the bad, the simply “meh.” We received submissions from women in their teens through their 50s, within the country and abroad. And even though everyone had a story about their “first time,” each of those stories is very different. The diversity of experiences shared with us further underscores the fact that a person’s first time can mean a lot of different things. We might be better off if we stopped putting so much emphasis on it. “He was married, 30 years older than me” He was married, 30 years older than me, and guilty as hell. I kept pushing for it. I wanted it. Until I got it. As soon as I had a unclad man writhing on top of me, all I could think was, “God, I hope I never have to do this again!” –32 years old “It didn’t hurt at all, but it wasn’t good” I was 15 and he was almost 19. We never talked about if we had “done it” before but I hadn’t and I don’t think he had either. I had given guys blowjobs and been fingered and made out with people so I thought “no big deal!” Right? Wrong. Making eye contact was embarrassing for me and making out was weird to do while we were “doing it.” It didn’t hurt at all but it wasn’t good. I was not aroused at all anymore and I was seriously wondering if I was asexual or something … Afterward, [we] talked about [it] for hours and then by that time I was finally turned on enough that we had enjoyable s*x. –18 years old “I lost my virginity on a trampoline” All my friends had lost “theirs” earlier than me, but I had told myself I was waiting [until] at least 16. Well 16 rolled around and we went to a gin and juice party. Unfortunately, I laid my eyes on the hottest guy at the party and then laid down with him on a trampoline. It wasn’t magical or the special waterfall I imagined. But, saying I lost my virginity on a trampoline has made for some great conversations. –31 years old “We are still in love” The first time I had s*x with a woman: It was a spring afternoon. We had just gone to the botanic gardens, holding hands the entire time. We made love under a duvet as the sun shone in my bedroom window. It was gentle. It was kind and warm and we are still in love. –30 years old “He just friend requested me on Facebook” I was 15. Christmas night. On the basement floor. Partner? 17-year-old steady boyfriend of several months. It was his first time too. He just friend requested me on Facebook. Currently I’m 53, happily married for the second time for 26 years. –53 years old